Locktober Reflection #8

For me, it’s always fascinating to observe just how much long-term influence being permanently locked has had – and still has – on me as a person. Especially when it comes to my own sense of self-worth, which is what today’s reflection is all about. But what exactly do we mean when we talk about self-worth?

Self-worth can be understood as "a kind of inner sense of value that doesn’t depend solely on external achievements, but rather on how one fundamentally perceives oneself." And it’s precisely this perception – this inner perspective – that has changed profoundly for me since I started wearing a chastity cage.

In the beginning – I might have mentioned this before – I often felt quite alone with my kink and my sense of being different. Living in a smaller city in the northeast of Germany, I often wondered if I’d ever meet people in real life who were locked like me or who enjoyed holding the corresponding keys. On social media, I genuinely tried to connect with the community, but at first (or at least that’s how it felt back then) it didn’t really work out. I did exchange messages with a few people, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I somehow didn’t truly belong.

I think the first little turning point came with a trip to Gran Canaria in February 2024, shortly after I decided to become permanently locked. I can’t even recall exactly how it all happened – I just remember that suddenly, I began wearing my cage not only at home but extending my locked periods step by step, until I eventually dared to stay locked outside my own four walls. First only during my free time, later at work, and eventually even at night.

That trip to Gran Canaria – combined with a cruise – was the first time I ever wore my cage in a completely foreign environment and truly lived my chastity. It was incredibly exciting, because so many things happened for the very first time: going through airport security locked, lying on the beach in Maspalomas locked and sunbathing, being locked in the spa area of the cruise ship we were traveling on, and so on…

As you can imagine, that time was special not only because of all those new experiences but also because of what I learned about myself and my own sense of self-worth. I realized that many of the things I had imagined as difficult, challenging, or even risky in everyday life turned out to be quite manageable in practice. That insight, in turn, made me braver — especially when it came to documenting my journey through posts on X. I started to enjoy capturing new motifs, new situations, different perspectives and contexts.

That led to quite a radical change in how I viewed chastity as a kink. Before that, I had mostly worn the cage for specific reasons or occasions. But from that point on, it became my constant companion. I increasingly enjoyed both the feeling and the awareness of being locked under my clothes without others knowing. At the pool or on the beach in my tight speedo, I sometimes imagined what others might think if they saw the outline of my cage.

Up to this day, I have never had a single negative experience or awkward comment. Never any issues at airport security, in saunas, or even at the gym — where I was initially extremely shy, not only about changing but especially about showering afterward, which I completely avoided in the beginning. I would rather throw my sweaty clothes back on and shower safely at home. But gradually, I got used to it. Community members encouraged me to try new things — like showering at the gym while locked. (Today, by the way, I do that daily and don’t feel any discomfort at all, even during rush hour in the men’s showers.)

All of these experiences, encounters, and small victories eventually led to what today’s reflection is really about: they boosted my self-worth. They showed me that while some situations I faced locked might have been challenging, I also possessed the necessary courage and capability to handle them, learn from them, and grow through them.

That’s also the reason why, at some point, I felt the desire to share this knowledge with others. The lifestyle of chastity, as I practice it today, is all about being in process — working through things, exploring new aspects, growing, and evolving. Because my own self-worth has changed and developed so deeply through it, I now see these achievements as incredibly valuable.

They are the reason why I can say with full conviction that I’m a Freely Locked Chastity Boi — someone who lives locked completely freely, voluntarily, and out of personal conviction, for whom there truly is no better lifestyle than this. Of course, this understanding and comfort level had to develop over time.

So to close, I want to encourage all of you who might currently be struggling — whether because of Locktober or for other reasons — or who haven’t yet found your personal approach to chastity. Don’t get discouraged. Instead, try to see those moments of doubt or hesitation as opportunities to pause, reflect, and grow. None of this is meant to happen overnight.

Be patient and kind with yourselves. Take the time to process things and plan your next steps. Above all, try not to focus only on what doesn’t yet work or where you still lack courage. Instead, look honestly at your past and acknowledge the successes you’ve already achieved – no matter how small they may seem. Your sense of self-worth will thank you for it, and you’ll be nurturing a calmer, yet still deeply productive process of personal growth – one locked day at a time.