Locktober Reflection #9

After talking about self-worth yesterday, today — purely by chance — we’re moving straight on to something closely related: self-confidence. As I already described yesterday, I find it fascinating how wearing a cage has changed not only the way I perceive myself, but also how I view my abilities and potential.

I still remember very clearly that in the summer before I started diving deeper into chastity, I attended a clothes-free retreat for men run by my long-time meditation teacher and friend Matt - The Bearded Naked Yogi - on Fuerteventura. At that time, I was still dealing with the aftereffects of the three pandemic years. I wasn’t in a good place in my life and felt quite frustrated with both my personal and romantic life. Photos from that period clearly show that I was far from happy – and definitely not in the kind of shape I’d consider good for myself.

So, after another participant – who has since become a dear friend – invited me to Pride in London 2024, I set a vision: twelve months later, I wanted to march in the Pride in London parade in the best physical shape I had ever been in.

A goal was set and the first step taken – but how was I going to get there? Back home, I started researching different apps and tools that could support me in achieving this goal. I had already done a few “locked” sessions with some cheap chastity cages I owned, but now the topic was becoming more significant and central. I even ended up participating – at least partially – in Locktober 2023 for the first time.

However, I had to abandon the challenge about halfway through the month – and to be honest, I wasn’t truly “chaste” in the sense of avoiding orgasms either. I was still right at the beginning, learning to accept and embrace my submissive side and getting used to many things that had never been part of my life before. Another very simple reason was that I went on a family cruise in mid-October, and at that time, I wasn’t yet confident enough to wear or even bring my chastity cage along. So while I remained mostly chaste during that trip, I wasn’t really locked.

That started to change gradually once I was back in my daily life. At that time, I was in regular and close contact with an Online-Hypno-Dom, who firmly planted the idea in my mind that chastity was an essential part of being a submissive – at least in the way he envisioned it for me. As a result, chastity began to pick up momentum for me in November: I was locked more often and for longer periods, experimented with different cage sizes, and simultaneously improved my fitness and nutrition routines.

The results didn’t take long to show — in the best possible way. On one hand, I regained a better physical condition. On the other, I became much more passionate and courageous about wearing my cage. I could literally feel how my confidence around my chastity kink was growing. The desire to stay locked for longer and longer increased, I dared to be more visible, became more active in online chastity communities, and noticed many changes in myself – both physically and mentally.

In December, I eventually met my coach – and now friend – Sol. As I like to say, he took me under his wing: He made sure I carefully tracked my lock-up times and supported me tremendously in many areas, including fitness, nutrition, and submissive training.

And the interesting part was: the more I noticed the positive changes in myself and my life, the more my self-confidence grew day by day. I developed a real sense of pride in being a locked boi. I kept pushing my boundaries and eventually had the courage to buy my first original KINK3D cage in February of the following year. (Before that, I had only used cheap knock-offs.)

And well… when that cage – a Cobra S Wide – finally arrived on February 2, 2024, I was completely hooked. Just a few days later, on February 14, I spontaneously decided that I wanted to wear my chastity cage 24/7. The fun and joy of it had simply won, and by that point, I could already feel that something was missing when I wasn’t wearing “my” cage.

Also, I no longer cared if people might notice a cage print under my speedo or if I went into the sauna while locked. By then, I knew much more clearly who I was and what defined me. And that’s exactly where the transformation of my self-confidence began. I knew what I was doing; I experienced how pursuing something deeply meaningful – something that had become a passion and, gradually, even a life mission – affected me and my inner state.

But before I wrap up this reflection, there’s one last point I want to touch on: my participation in the Pride in London 2024 parade. To make a long story short – yes, I marched the entire parade route locked and visibly so, representing both Recon but also the chastity community. The feeling I experienced – being able to live my “locked lifestyle” freely and unapologetically without shame – was incredibly powerful and liberating.

And it also showed me the vast amount of resources, possibilities, ideas, and potential that lay within me. That alone changed so much because, on this journey, I got to know myself on a much deeper level and came closer to my true core. Naturally, this strengthened my self-confidence as well – I saw and felt firsthand (in the best possible way) that I had nothing to fear, that so much is simply a matter of habit, and that some things just take time and don’t happen instantly.

This realization has made me not only a more patient person but also a more humble one – someone who now looks toward his future not with worry, but with confidence, curiosity, and joy about everything still to come. And for that reason alone, this journey – even though it has sometimes been truly challenging – has already been more than worth it. Because in the end, confidence isn’t something you’re born with – it’s something you grow into, step by step, one locked day at a time.