Locktober Reflection #13

In today’s reflection, I have a little confession to make: even though it might not always seem that way, I too have moments when I’m incredibly horny – even while locked. Because even after more than 600 days of permanent chastity, my hormones still sometimes go on a rollercoaster ride, and chastity simply can’t stop arousal from happening.

That brings us to a type of play I believe many lockees, keyholders, and other superior males enjoy: tease and denial. In this dynamic, the locked partner’s arousal is pushed higher and higher – only for orgasm to be delayed, or even better, denied completely.

That’s exactly the state – and the agreement with myself – that I’ve set for this Locktober: I’m allowed to enjoy my cage, to feel aroused, and even to play with myself a little. I’ve even spent several nights wearing a plug this month. All of this naturally increases my desire – and with each day of chastity and abstinence, the urge for release builds more and more.

But that’s precisely what makes this experience exciting for me. As a permanently locked sub, it’s a constant challenge: How far can I go when I stimulate myself? Can I stop in time to prevent an unwanted orgasm? Do I truly have control over my impulses? I love this balance between surrender and self-control, and the mental strength it demands.

It’s also why I’ve become very intentional about orgasms. I no longer want to “waste” them on random, meaningless release. That might sound strange, but the few I’ve had – often through hypnosis or recently Shibari rope play sessions – were so intense and transformative that I don’t want to diminish their significance by giving in too easily. And because they’re so rare now, they feel far more special and meaningful.

For context: so far in 2025, I’ve orgasmed 13 times – which is already more than planned, since my original goal was one per month. And yes, not everything always goes as intended. This year, for example, I even experienced my first real wet dreams – something that had never happened before, even when I wasn’t locked. It was a little embarrassing at first, but it’s also a perfect reminder of how deeply chastity can influence libido and desire, despite all our plans.

And of course, arousal doesn’t only affect the locked partner. It also plays a role for Sirs, Doms, Masters, keyholders, and even observers. I think I speak for many lockees when I say we love showing ourselves in all our locked glory – a little exhibitionism is often part of who we are.

So, to sum it up: in my case, being horny and aroused is not only okay but also deliberately encouraged within my self-imposed rules as a self-locked boi. A real orgasm, however, is something I only allow myself when it’s granted – “gifted,” in a sense — by a Dom, Sir, or Master. Only then do I truly feel I’ve earned it.

And since Locktober isn’t even halfway through yet — and my last orgasm was back on September 14 (during a Shibari rope session, by the way) — I know the next two and a half weeks will be a challenge. My goal is to remain not just locked but truly chaste until at least November 1, with no “real” orgasms allowed. Let’s see if I make it. I’m motivated — but life sometimes has other plans. Still, I’m confident I can do it… and I hope you feel the same way too.

Because in the end, I’d rather stay on that delicious edge of horniness than give in too soon and miss the thrill of the denial.