Locktober Reflection #23
Today was a special day for me. This morning, I made my way to Berlin, where a short film by my friend Peter Cage was screened as part of this year’s PornFilmFestival. Some of you might already know Peter – not only as a frequent podcast guest on all things kink, but especially as the host of the monthly Locked Social gatherings in New York.
It was in that very role that I first met him about a year ago during a short trip to the Big Apple. From the moment we met, I felt an immediate connection – and it was actually Peter who encouraged me to host a similar event myself, which finally came to life during Folsom Europe 2025 in Berlin. So of course, it felt natural to attend today’s screening of his short film Breakfast Time. Even though I didn’t fully know what to expect, the description – “a raw, intimate documentary about submission, control, obedience, and the rituals of puppy and food play” – immediately caught my attention.
But if you came here hoping for a full review or summary, I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you. Even though it might seem natural to discuss the film’s storyline in this reflection, I’ve decided against it. After watching it, I believe Peter’s work can only be truly understood when experienced as a whole – which, hopefully, will soon be possible online.
What I do want to share is that the film touched me deeply on many levels. Even now, sitting alone in my Berlin hotel room, replaying the images, lines, and moments from what I saw earlier tonight, I find myself still processing what it stirred inside me. What struck me most was how easily I could connect his film to my own emotional and mental world – how directly it mirrored parts of my journey as a sub. But it also made me understand something else I’ve been thinking about for days now: the difference between the pornographic and the erotic.
Most of the other short films shown today were openly pornographic – and rightly so, as that’s the nature of the festival, putting sexual acts front and center. But through Peter’s storytelling, I realized that submission doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual, let alone pornographic. In many ways, it often isn’t. For me, submission, control, and obedience have become something profoundly sensual, emotional – and therefore deeply erotic. The most beautiful and fulfilling moments happen when there’s no goal to reach, no climax to chase; when it’s not about performance, but about presence.
That’s where true magic unfolds between Dom and sub – something magnetic, tender, and intoxicatingly intimate. It’s no longer about harder, stronger, faster; it’s about depth, connection, and trust. Those are the moments I seek – and since embracing chastity as my lifestyle, those are the ones that sustain me most. They’re rare, yes, but knowing they exist – and that I keep finding them – fills me with quiet confidence to continue exploring this journey.
Moments like these – and films like Breakfast Time – actually remind me why I chose this way of living in the first place: not to escape desire, but to meet it with honesty, vulnerability, and an open heart.