Locktober Reflection #27
Over the past few days, the word authenticity has appeared in several different contexts for me. Personally, I love exploring it – because the question of what it means to be and stay authentic plays not only a major role in my professional life, but has also become increasingly important in my private one.
Especially when it comes to chastity, I often feel that much of what’s found online – whether texts, photos, or videos – gives newcomers a rather narrow, or at times even completely unrealistic, idea of what this kink or lifestyle actually can look like in practice. Most of what’s visible tends to focus on the exciting, the adventurous, the extreme – sometimes even the sexualized moments. But there’s another side to chastity: the ordinary, grounded, everyday side. From the very beginning, one of my main goals for this blog has been to share that side too – to show chastity as truthfully, calmly, and realistically as possible, and how it can truly be lived.
When you wear your cage permanently, as I do, it eventually becomes normal – part of everyday life. I think that’s also why my chastity cage no longer arouses me constantly the way it did at first. Both my body and my mind have had more than twenty months to adapt to this locked life. That naturally brings certain changes – much like starting a new job, taking on new tasks, or entering a new relationship.
At first, everything feels new, fascinating, exciting. It demands your full attention; your senses sharpen, your awareness expands. But as time goes on, that heightened alertness gradually fades. What once felt extraordinary becomes part of your rhythm, absorbed into the flow of your daily routines.
And it was right around that time – when chastity began to feel like second nature – that the concept of authenticity resurfaced more strongly for me. I started asking myself what exactly had drawn me to wearing a chastity cage in the first place. The fascination had always been there, yes, but I wanted to understand why.
Looking back, I think what helped me most was a mix of honest communication with others, the act of writing (especially here, on this blog), daily meditation, and regular hypnosis sessions. Through all of that, I began to uncover my true motivations – the deeper impulses behind my desire to live locked and to surrender myself to a dominant presence.
Especially in exploring that second part – the longing to yield, to obey, to serve – I learned some of my most valuable lessons. They didn’t just teach me about submission, but also about myself: how to engage with a dominant counterpart sincerely, openly, and emotionally present. That kind of authenticity, I’ve realized, can only arise through continual self-reflection and an ever-deeper awareness of who you are.
Over time, I also discovered that I have two distinct modes of being. Professionally, it would be neither wise nor appropriate to slip into my sub-state – my role there simply requires something else. In daily life, I’m a family member, friend, colleague, mentor, organizer, teacher. In the presence of a dominant, I am simply submissive.
Even now, as I write these words alone late at night, I feel that inner sub-energy within me – not in a passive or robotic way, but in the sense of commitment and devotion to a promise I’ve made, even if only to myself: to reflect on something meaningful every single day of Locktober. It’s like a quiet program running in the background – but one that I choose consciously, freely, and with purpose.
Both my thoughts and emotions now naturally align toward this inner drive for surrender and dedication. Perhaps that’s best captured by the phrase “good boi.” I’ve always loved hearing it – it feels like a small reward, a sign that I’ve done something right, acted with intention, and brought satisfaction to someone else.
Moments like that fill me with pride and joy. They give me a sense of meaning – the feeling of being useful and of contributing something of value to others, or to the community. And that’s exactly where authenticity returns to the center. For me, it’s that harmony between word and action that creates a sense of coherence – a deep alignment that not only I can feel, but that others can sense too. It shows that I’m not just following orders mechanically, but embracing them as part of my own will, my own purpose as a submissive.
That’s why I’d encourage anyone exploring D/s dynamics to start not with a session, but with a conversation – a genuine, human meeting on equal ground. Take the time, especially as a submissive, to really get to know the dominant person. Talk about expectations, wishes, and emotional needs openly and honestly.
Because at its core, authenticity means self-awareness. You can only express what you need if you’ve first learned to recognize and name it within yourself. And only through that groundwork can true, authentic submission emerge – the kind built on trust, understanding, and genuine presence.
A kink friend recently told me, after reading my blog, that I come across as so independent and self-assured that it’s hard for him to picture me as a submissive at all. I always smile when I hear that – because, as the saying goes, you should never judge a book by its cover.
For me, what truly matters isn’t how someone appears on the surface, but how responsive, present, and attuned they are in the moments that count – the intimate ones. To be authentic in those moments means to know yourself well enough to let go, to trust, and to offer your submission as something deeply real.
And when that trust is met with the same presence and respect from the other side, something remarkable happens: two energies align, creating moments of genuine connection and emotional clarity. Those are the experiences that remind me why I continue this journey – with courage, intention, and, above all, authenticity.