Locktober Reflection #31

So here I am – one last time – and I can hardly believe that this year’s Locktober is already coming to an end. Many of us used this month to explore new experiences, to push personal boundaries, and to challenge ourselves in various ways. For some, it was their very first time locking up. Others aimed to stay denied for longer periods. And then there were those who took part in playful challenges or small competitions – completing a new task each day connected to chastity.

This year, however, I made a conscious decision to step away from that more competitive side of things. Last year, I realized that those challenges stressed me out more than they brought me joy. Instead, I wanted to spend these thirty-one days learning as much as possible about myself as a locked boi – exploring my motives, my intentions, my perspectives on chastity, and, of course, what all of this stirs within me, not only mentally but also emotionally.

That in itself was quite a challenge. In the past, I’ve often tried to build a regular writing habit or journaling routine, but I always found it difficult to stay consistent. So I’m genuinely proud that, despite all my professional and personal commitments, I still managed to publish and share a new reflection every single day of this Locktober. Granted – my sleep rhythm suffered, and yes, there were nights when I dozed off over the keyboard. But somehow, every single day, a text found its way into the world – even on the days when I didn’t think I had anything left to give.

What truly kept me going, though, was you. All of you who took the time to read, to comment, and to reach out with such thoughtful, heartfelt messages – telling me how certain reflections resonated, inspired, or made you think differently. That exchange, that sense of connection and mutual reflection, is what I hope to cultivate even more going forward. I never wanted this blog to be a space for self-presentation. My wish is for it to become a space of dialogue – a place where we share experiences, feelings, discoveries, and insights; where we grow, learn, and inspire one another; and where each of us finds our own individual way of living and understanding chastity.

For me, there’s no single right or wrong way – no manual to simply read and follow. If anything, this Locktober has made me believe more strongly than ever that any fetish – of any kind – can be a path toward discovering our truest selves. It can help us understand who we are at our core, what we long for, and how we can bring those desires and needs into authentic expression.

Over the past few days, I’ve come across a post by @manlyfetish that put it beautifully and simply:

“Fetish is not just a look. It’s identity. And yes – it’s me.”

That line struck me deeply – because I feel exactly the same. My chastity cages are no longer just a pleasing toy, a beautiful object, or a cryptic visual symbol – they’ve become part of me: of my essence, my personality, my soul. It’s taken me over forty years to not only accept this side of myself but to truly understand, appreciate, and live it out fully and unapologetically.

And while that might sound as if I’ve reached the end of my chastity journey here on this final day of Locktober 2025, the truth is that it feels quite the opposite. For me, this isn’t an ending at all – it’s a beginning. Over the past thirty-one days, I’ve learned more about myself, my discipline, and my desires than I ever expected. And as I look ahead, I feel more curious, hopeful, and inspired than ever to continue this journey – not to reach an end, but to keep learning what it truly means to live freely locked, and to stay open to whatever comes next.